Milo

Paper thin ears, orange, so light.

Always getting into things, but so smart, you would listen if I explained something wasn't working for me.

Never got into my crafts, except on friday you pulled one earring out of my room and took it upstairs, you didn't ruin it but you just left it on the floor and grandma found it. That one earring was from the very first pair I went to put online, finally accomplishing what took me months to do, get a simple pair of earrings online.

Riding in the jeep, if I hadn't been around for a while and I let you out you'd run straight for the jeep! Loved it. Curled up around my neck sleeping while I drove, you spent so much of your kitten life in that jeep.

Always came when I called, all I had to do was whistle. you wouldn't come though, if you knew I could see you, that I just had to look a bit harder, not be lazy! Funny boy.

On top of the ladder, a massive ladder while we were doing christmas lights last weekend at moms, what were you doing up there you silly cat!

Always climbing up trees like a monkey might, and shimmying back down again, so uncatlike!

Last memory I have of you is you snuggled up in that brown, soft, warm blanket you loved to cuddle in at keiths, just your head poking out. I have a nice picture. You are to be buried with this blanket.

Only 8 months old, Nov 26 2011. You were with me in hard times this spring, snuggled up to my belly at night a wee little kitten barely 5 weeks old, just me and you.

Funny because how the story goes, you weren't the kitten that I picked. When I went to kelowna to visit Brianna she had already picked you, the runt of the litter, and your brother Otis who looks similar to you but more siamese like. I asked her if we could go back to the lady in vernon to get me a kitten too! So we drove out there, and I picked up "Gypsy" as I named "her". She had greytones at the time where you and Otis looked pure white. Well I went home with the two kittens, Otis and Gypsy. And you stayed at Briannas. I found out from mom that Gypsy was in fact a 'he-cat' and as you know, mom named him Blue for his beautiful eyes. Blue stayed at moms for a bit while I was getting my new place organized. Then I had to drive to Greenwood to switch Briannas car for grandmas, and Brianna said she was bringing you, the little runt. She said between you and 3 dogs it was getting to be too many animals. So Juniper and I traded vehicles in Greenwood, and picked up this funny looking bug-eyed scrawny little kitten, you! I decided then to keep you, that you were to be mine. After not wanting you at first, funny how things turn out. I named you Milo, the name came to me and just stuck..

I took you everywhere, to friends, to potlucks, you loved the beach- it was a giant sandbox, you'd rip around back and forth so much freedom and peace! You loved going out to your brother's house- my parents, Blue, Otis and your year old brothers Rodger and Jasper. You could romp freely without fear of much at their place. We moved into that house with the older cats in July, and I know you didn't like it much there. I was so worried because the street outside was so busy, Anna never let you out but you started to look and feel so miserable, as was I. So in october we moved to Grandmas and it was great there! You got along with her two lovely cats, Beauty and Tipper Rose, and the dog Kara. Grandma loves you so much. So cuddly, always lying on your back, wanting your belly rubbed, loving your little hand and foot 'massages'. She was scared to let you outside for fear of getting eaten by coyotes or the like. And yet again I was afraid too but thought you the invincible cat! The smartest cat alive!

It had been a while since you had been over to Keiths, my boyfriends house, to play with your friend Boo. Kirsten & Mikes lovely black and white cat a few months older than you. So I picked you up Friday morning and left in a hurry, dropping you off at keiths house. Had some errands to run, came back round 1. And then we all snuggled inside til about 5, you were wrapped up all cuddly in the brown blanket. We were going to the longhairs, our friends, for a 'sour-cream' overdose potluck! I wanted to bring you but.. I didn't. I guess last time they brought you and I wasn't there and you didn't like Pussy, Jills cat. But I wasn't there and it must have been frightening, the only places you were without me were in your normal homes, Keiths, Grandmas, or Moms. So we let you outside, and left you outside and we came back just before 9. We called and called, you were nowhere to be found, you had been missing once before so I tried to be positive and think you'd be home in the morning. You weren't, and I was so worried. I looked around, not good enough. I asked the neighbors, noone had seen you. I walked around the blocks. The first house I went to , the people weren't home. Right next door. I ended up leaving to go make soap at Kailas, and I felt terrible being there like something was wrong. I left at 7:30. I came to Keiths and called and called for you, and no milo. I kept callling and looking around, I came inside and started crying and praying I would find you. The neighbors out back were home so I went and asked them, no sign but a lookout at least. I had this feeling to go over the fence to the first house, where nooone had been home. I walked up the porch, knocked on the door and the lady came with her daughter, they said they hadn't seen you in a while, how long had you been missing? I explained how you lived somewhere else most of the time, and the lady said you were lovely, that they called you snowflake. She said I haven't seen many cats since the summer now its cold. Usuaully the cats would all play under her porch. So I went to leave and was about to go back over the fence when I had a feeling to look under the porch. And I found you, as I prayed I would. But not alive.

You've gone on to the spirit world Milo, Thank you so much for teaching me all your wise cat tricks. Such a brilliant little buddy. Forever missed.

I pulled my medicine cards last night, Mother Earth was represented as a reverse Antelope, and Father Sky was represented as a reverse Dolphin. I was asking for guidance, what to do next.

The Antelope reversed signifies actions, to take action. and Do. Adaptability in situations. He is the messenger of a higher purpose.

The Dolphin represents Manna, the breath of life. Reverse means forgetting to breathe. Failing to use internal sonar, needing to realign with natural rhythms of the body. Use dolphin breath to connect to universal awareness and signals, Dive deeply into the water, play and use the beauty of the rhythm of breath.

I pulled them this morning, after thinking things through, and deciding against blame. Deciding for purpose and strength. Mother Earth came to me as the Raven, and Father Sky as the Wolf.

The Raven is magic. Accepting new awareness in consciousness, accepting the light the comes from the darkest of voids. Letting things be as they are, no need for explanation and dissection.

The wolf is the Teacher, and the greatest teacher of the tribe. Representing how teachings may assist others. About indivualization, the psychic power of the moon, the need to seek out my space and go into myself, to learn who I really am.