I have watched this movie a few times. I finally watched it again with my boyfriend tonight and I understand everything in it now. Everything is falling into place exactly as it needs to be. I feel as if I have been sleeping for so much of my life but that is just an act I have had to safeguard me, to keep me living in a state that was 'safe and comfortable'. In a way my brain has learned and trained itself to be. My most distinguishable act is to be critical of others when I am being most critical of myself, to divert my attention away from myself. In the movie Rupert AKA Tyler realises he is Tyler when Tyler has the pistol in his hand at the end. Rupert snaps awake at that moment and says 'you don't hold the gun, I do' at this moment Rupert takes responsibility for creating his act and acknowledges he IS his act. Instead of acknowledging he can be, or is being a certain WAY, he actually realises he just IS that way because he appears that way. It is as simple as that.
Distinguishing our acts and taking on the responsibility for being the way we are because we ARE that way is a very unique, yet standard, common-sense way of keeping in tune with reality. The reality beyond ourselves. The reality that IS.
I realise now the people I have come in contact with in my life have all been there for a reason, anyone I have ever been jealous of is someone I truly admire and my act of jealousy is my brains default way of dealing with the fact that person has traits I possess but am unaware of activating.
People who are truly themselves are ones that I have been the most catty and jealous to, and I have been surrounded by so many amazing people that are just themselves. I have pushed some away so, so far away just for being themselves and they had no idea what was happening. Taking responsibility for my thoughts, actions, words is something so scary, it takes my breath away in a very free way.
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